My pet bird keeps attacking me while I'm masterbating or having sex? What can I do?

Question

My bird is great; he's a magnificent red and gold Macaw; smart as a button, and adorable.

He's an absolute pussy-bait. Anyway, he started doing this thing like a few months ago; whenever he sees my penis, he flies toward it attacks me - he tried to attack my dick, but I obviously prevent him from doing so.

He does this when Im having sex. Can some Macaws get obsessed with attacking giant snakes?

Answer 1

Right you're gonna want to gently grab your Macaw, throw some sort of cloth or kitchen towel over his head (as darkness soothes and helps calm birds down) and then furiously **** him.

Incompatible genitals is not an issue as long as he has an asshole

Answer 2

birds tend to attach themselves to people just like they pair up in the wild. loons, swans and geese mate for life and the larger the bird, the more likely it will do this. your macaw has claimed you and even though you use it as "pussy bait" all you are doing is making it extremely jealous of whomever you are bringing home. it's like bringing your girlfriend home to meet your wife.

Answer 3

I don't know about giant snakes, but I heard they do attack inch worms.

Answer 4

maybe, try doing it away from the bird???? The poor bird has emotions to. How do you know you arn't scarring it for life? IF you must do it in the same room as the bird, please for his mental security, please put a sheet on his cage to spare him from having to watch....

Answer 5

I think I love you. This question made my day, sorry for not having an answer tho 😂😂😂

Answer 6

What sort of bird is it? a Cockatiel ?

Answer 7

just put its cage in a different room when you plan on doing it

Answer 8

He thinks you should go somewhere else and close the door.

Answer 9

*sigh*